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Nine to Five: The Musical -- Why Bother?

By The Neville Awards
Posted Aug 24, 2008

The Dark Age on Broadway continues. In the best tradition of the forty year old war on men (and we mean privileged white men) and school-age boys "diagnosed" with ADD (attention deficit disorder), Dolly Parton and her lib producers are mounting Nine to Five - The Musical. This may also be a belated effort to re-energize some of the dissaffected Hillary voters.

Where's Cole Porter, Jerome Kern, Rogers & Hart and Oscar & Hammerstein when we really need them?

The question is why bother. Ever since Hillary and the Clinton Administration expanded the narrowly drawn sexual harassment laws in the 1990's to include the stunningly vague concept of the "hostile work environment" the incidents of true sexual harassment and the existence of the classic "men are pigs" boss has vanished. Too many opportunistic women seeking a payday from some innocuous remark by some guy and the fear of a "hostile work environment" lawsuit against management solved that problem. The fear of being hauled before some Human Resources femi-nazi "Star Chamber" has so crushed normal interaction between men and women in the office that it makes this musical irrelevant. Still, there are a lot of angry liberal women out there needing to re-live the glory days.

Earth to Dolly: the age of Shoulder Pad Feminism is over. The stupid laws are in place.

So what's next? An Unmarried Woman: the Musical? Kramer vs. Kramer: the Musical? Working Girl: the Musical? Tootsie: the Musical? Steel Magnolias: the Musical? Fried Green Tomatos: the Musical? G.I. Jane: the Musical? The revival of Dabney Coleman's career as the feminist's favorite "men are pigs" poster boy?

Who will actually see this contrived man-hating production? The perennial feminist victocrats, Neo-fems and the left-over angry fems from the 80's who still can't get laid and didn't like working for men because they were too gross to hit on. It's the same crowd who forked over big bucks for Sex and the City: the Movie.

And here's the real kicker...the woman with the crappy job or the jerk boss (yes, they do exist), or a job that isn't paying enough, will fork over the big bucks to see this garbage. In the morning, with wallets lighter, and a possible hangover from after-show commiserating and drinks with similarly unhappy friends, she will trudge off to the same crappy job she was at the day before. And she won't even respect herself in the morning. But Dolly Parton's bottom line will have improved.

Even though no self-respecting guy would be caught dead at Sex and the City: the Movie. there is a species of self-hating male who will see this show. File this one as a sub-set of the self-hating white liberal. Studies show that metrosexuals bought tickets for Sex and the City hoping to meet women. These pathetic guys will also show for Nine to Five - The Musical.

The need for self-flagellation, the desire to be seen as sensitive, and the need to be dominated is never-ending.

By the way, these sensitive guys are voting for Obama. Need we say more?
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